


Child’s Play

by Myworldoffanfanfiction



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Adoption, Anxiety Attack’s, Gen, Hurt!Rami, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, More tags to be added, Panic attack’s, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Protective Ben Hardy, Protective Gwilym Lee, Protective Joe Mazzello, m/m - Freeform, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-01-03 15:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21181529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myworldoffanfanfiction/pseuds/Myworldoffanfanfiction
Summary: Rami had been through the foster system for what felt like eons. He had lost his parents when he was really young, having no recollection of them as he grew. He lost his twin brother at his third house (If only they had been quicker). And now this one was going to be his 20th. They never ended well, and he knew this one wasn’t. So, he would stay out of the way of this family as to not annoy them too much, he would be a figure in the house and nothing more. He was getting good at that.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rami - 4 years old   
Gwilym - 10 years old   
Ben - 28   
Joe - 28

Rami had been through the foster system for what felt like eons. He had lost his parents when he was really young, having no recollection of them as he grew. He lost his twin brother at his third house (If only they had been quicker). And now this one was going to be his.. he lost count. They never ended well, and he knew this one wasn’t. So, he would stay out of the way of this family as to not annoy them too much, he would be a figure in the house and nothing more. He was getting good at that, not being in the way of others, that is. It was an odd talent for a 4 year old, anyone would think, but he couldn’t care less about what others thought about him now. He had probably heard everything mean that you could say to a person, especially the comments about his skin. He was darker then most people at every house he went to. Apart from one, there was a girl with darker skin than him, slightly older, maybe by a few years, at a very bad house. That was the same house he had started to get scars, and after that he now has too many to count. But back to the girl, she had been very nice, telling Rami that she was ‘happy to see more kids like her’ and at first she meant broken kids, but she hadn’t and he didn’t bring it up again. The man in that house wasn’t very nice. But it wasn’t just the men who weren’t nice to Rami, the women were mean too. He went to a family with a woman and a man, they were siblings (He really did have to try hard in not crying when he remembered Sami) and they lived together. The man, tried to at least be a bit nice with Rami (In this house it was only him, other houses had other children and this was the first time it was just him. It made blending into the walls a lot easier) but the woman didn’t. He still had a scar on his cheek from her ring. He told her it was an accident, that he didn’t look where he was going and knocked a glass of a table but she just didn’t listen. when he was first put into the system and started to understand things properly wondered if anyone would listen. He was losing hope now. 

“Rami, we are here” That was his social lady. He had had many, but she had dropped him off at most houses for the past 4 years. He forgot her name, and didn’t want to ask. At another home, when he was really little, all he remembered was Sami telling him that ‘If you name things, you get attached. Don’t name things, RamRam’ and Rami has nodded. They weren’t sure who was older, their parents never really told them, or maybe they had but they couldn’t remember, but Rami was smaller in size than his brother, so they always said he was younger. Now, he didn’t care. He just wanted his brother back. 

Rami sighed and nodded, unbuckling himself from the uncomfortable car seat as the lady opened the door for him after they parked. A normal 4 year old wouldn’t be able to unbuckle themselves, but Rami has small hands and he had learnt over time how to do tricky little puzzles like it. That’s how Sami and him had- no. Not now. 

He slid out of the car on his tummy, his little feet made it too the floor after a while and he let go of the car seat, landing on the floor perfectly. Easy. You may think it was cruel for Lady not to help him, but he didn’t like to Ben picked up, so she didn’t and Rami was thankful for that. Rami brushed himself off and took the ladies hand, getting ready for months of being quiet and staying out of the way. He had always perfected this in other houses, he would do it again here. 

“I think you will like this home” Lady probably smiled. He was looking down so he didn’t see. He knew it sounded mean but he didn’t care what she thought. She always said that, and it never turns out good. Always with scars bruises and blood. 

They were at the door now and Lady knocked. Rami knew after those 4 knocks that his life for the next few months would be shi- 

“Hello” A ginger man opened the door with a big smile on his face. Not really something new, they would be all happy and jolly with the worker around and then they don’t be all happy and jolly when they are gone. Some just don’t bother trying to hide it. He preferred the latter, because then on the first day he knew what to expect. Guess this family was different. 

“Hi Joe, this is Rami, the boy from the photos” Lady- Lucy. He would call her Lady Lucy from now on. Knew the mans name, Joe. Rami hadn’t been with a Joe before. 

“I can see” He smiled and crouched onto one leg, almost at Rami’s height. He was short for his age, he knew that, and he didn’t need or want to be reminded. People took advantage of that, but so did Rami. The smaller you are, the more places you have to hide to get out of the way. It was fortunate for him sometimes, other times he hated his small form. He was called petite once and he had cried for a solid hour, not in front of anyone thought. That wouldn’t be embarrassing. 

“Hey Rami. Like Lucy said I’m Joe, and you are going to be staying with me, my husband and my son for a while” He was still smiling, but now his voice was softer than talking to Lady Lucy. 

Rami just nodded and looked back at the floor. What was he supposed to say? He knew this stuff, he wasn’t stupid. He already started to not like this guy. 

But apart from that, he had learnt the house would be filled with boys. And one was a child. He preferred when the other children were girls, because they were definitely nicer than boys, but now he would have to deal with either a snotty nosed whining brat boy or mean bully boy. Just his luck. 

“Alright, lets get inside” Joe stood up and opened he door more, Lady Lucy and Rami entering. 

Rami didn’t bother looking up, he would look when Lady Lucy was gone, like he always did. After she was gone, he would then finds the routes of the house and then the hiding spots. He had been doing it for years and nothing would stop him with his routine. 

They were brought into a dining room, because when Rami did hear other voices, he had to look up. A blonde man was sitting in a chair at the table with another boy, who was rudely sat on the table in front of the blonde. They were laughing about something together and looked happy. Oh they were good at keeping it all up in front of Lady Lucy. Best fakers he had ever stayed with, he would give it too them. 

“Rami, That’s Ben, my husband, and that’s my son Gwilym, but we just call him Gwil. He was adopted from a different centre” Yeah right, like this family would adopt and get away with it. Or maybe they were that good at faking now because they hadn’t done it before and that was how they got Gwilym into their family. It was all coming together now, this family were just liars. 

“Okay, everything seems alright here, you know everything as I told you, he doesn’t have any stuff, alright I’m off” Lady Lucy did a check on everything and then she was going. Rami wanted to chase after her, but like that would he allowed. He would bring attention to himself if he did, so he stayed but and watched her walk out the dining room and then disappear, hearing the sound of the front door closing. 

Great. 

** 

Rami’s new room was bare. It had a bed with actual covers for once (this family was weird), a desk with nothing on it (the seat was too high anyway), a few toys (like hell he would play with them), and a closet (hiding space. perfect). The family had said they would go out shopping to get what he wanted, but he didn’t want anything. So he shook his head silently, keeping his head away from their faces, and climbed onto the bed, playing with the sheets absentmindedly as he stared down. He hoped they would leave him be, and they did. But sadly not without saying 

“Gwilym will be up here in a moment to check up on you. He was really excited about having you here” Ben, the blonde one said with a not-full-happy smile. Rami knew the difference between them. 

Gwilym did in fact come into his bedroom, and he even knocked. Rami braced himself, waiting for the kicking and punching to start. Gwilym only smiled at him and sat on his bed with him. He had no trouble getting up like Rami did. 

He put his hand out and Rami didn’t flinch, because flinching shows weakness and weakness is what a predator gets a spark out of to attack its prey. 

“I’m Gwilym, but you can call me Gwil” his voice was nice, soft and not to loud, but he didn’t know whether to trust him. Rami just looked at his hand and then back down at the sheets. Gwilym just nodded once and drew his hand away “So what do you like to do?” Why do you care? He wanted to say, but didn’t. Staying silent was good, Sami used to say, it meant they couldn’t make fun of you or force you to speak again (it didn’t stop people yelling at both him and be his brother to ‘speak you little shit, for fuck sakes are you an idiot or something?! Fucking speak!’. But whatever hit was sent or word yelled, he didn’t speak. Sami said not to, so he wouldn’t. The only person he ever listened to was his brother with his advice)

”I like football, and colouring” Gwilym said. Why couldn’t he get the hint that he didn’t care. They weren’t going to be friends. Rami didn’t plan on making friends. Not since Sami-

“Do you want to colour with me?” The ten year old said, probably still smiling or something like that. He was tempted to use a bad word to get him to just go away but he didn’t. Stay silent, he told himself, stay silent and nobody will know how stupid you sound. 

“I can get some colours and we can do it up here on the floor if you like” He kept offering things. He wanted him to react. He had had enough. They had given Rami a house tour and he knew where the bathroom was. So, Rami slipped from the bed and went into the bathroom, closing and locking the door because he couldn’t deal with Gwilym at the moment. He didn’t want to be here. But he was surprised Gwilym didn’t grab him or hit him for not listening to him, other boys at different houses had done that. That was how Rami got a scar on his cheek from a boys ring he wore. It had hurt, a lot. And now it was an ugly blemish on his face, for everyone to see. It made him ugly, one woman had said as she spat the words at him. He cried a lot that day. 

** 

Rami stayed in the bathroom for 5 minutes before he was disturbed. He had slid into the bathtub and was curled up into it, no water because he didn’t know how to run his own bath yet (he knew he would learn soon) and because he was scared if he did, he might drown. He was happy the door was locked, because he started to cry at one point, silently obviously, and thought he might fill the bathtub up with his own tears. That wouldn’t be a pleasant bath, he thought to himself as he wiped away his tears. 

Then, after those 5 minutes, a knock. Joes voice came from outside.

”Rami, Dinner is done, can you come out?” Joe felt horrible. The 4 year old they should be looking after was locked in the bathroom by his own doing. When Gwilym had told his dads, hey rushed upstairs quickly, then stopped. They knew Rami’s backstory. How his parents had died and he had a younger twin brother who also died in a home (they weren’t told how) so they knew that just by saying ‘come out please’ would magically make Rami better. So, Joe lied. Said dinner was ready, meaning Rami literally had to come out for that, right? But really, it wasn’t a big lie. It was almost ready and by the time they got downstairs, it probably would be. 

Luckily, it did the trick. The door unlocked with a small click, and Rami was on his tippy-toes as he opened it. Looking at the floor and not up at them. He hadn’t properly looked up or spoke since he first got here and Ben and Joe were worried. They knew this would all take time, but they still were worried.

“Come on, bud, lets go eat” Ben said with a smile and put his hand out. Surprisingly, Rami took it. Joe, Ben and Gwilym smiled brightly. That was good, at least he wasn’t scared of them so much that he couldn’t hold their hands. They hoped this was progress. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have no real reason why I haven’t updated this, I really just forgot about it- 
> 
> Would anyone like more chapters? Or something they would like to see in the future of this? :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heed the tag warnings in this one, mentions of a lot of shit. 
> 
> Tf

Rami didn’t start school when Gwilym did the next day, he stayed at home with Ben in the living room, watching tv all day. Joe was at work, he was a nurse apparently. That was a nice job, Rami had thought when the Ginger man told him where he was going with Gwilym (not that Rami asked, still not a peep from the boy. At all), it was nice Joe was helping people, the other families he had been too had done bad jobs. The women used to have different men at her house almost every night, making weird groaning and mourning noises upstairs which Rami could still hear even in the kitchen cupboard the boy had somehow managed to wedge himself into that night, and the men would sell flour in little baggies that made you go all hyper and crazy and even more brutal than normal (the ‘flour baggies’ incident, Sami dubbed it, were one of the reasons Rami had a scar going all the way from his tummy to his hip. It was ugly) 

Ben worked also, but not today (Monday? Was it Monday?) so that was why Ben was currently flicking through kids movies on the sofa. Both man and boy were in each corner of the ridiculously giant couch, Ben had his legs out and his arm leaning on the head part of the sofa, whilst Rami was huddled up into his own corner, gripping the pillow he was twice the size of, which wasn’t all that big. 

Rami had never watched a movie before, not really. He and Sami once spied their carer one time in the living room and watched the movie along with the man looking after them, only did they get caught when Sami leg out a little giggle, and they had to run and run and run and split up to find a hiding space. The next day, Rami went over to Sami and saw that he his face wasn’t right, but he was alright. Unlike that one time-

“Like Winnie the Pooh?” Ben smiles softly at the four-year-old in the corner, gesturing to the Tv screen. He hoped to get a verbal response to the question, but the blond only got a small shrug in return. Ben sighed and played it. 

The first 10 minutes had Rami crying, apparently seeing Christopher Robin grow up and forget his friends made him upset. Rami tried desperately for Ben not to notice but Ben just had to glance over at the wrong time and his heart shattered. 

Ben couldn’t believe he didn’t notice sooner, how long had the boy been crying? Ben was about to reach over but before he moved a muscle, he remembered what Lucy said. The boy apparently hated being picked up, or moved by anyone’s else’s hands or just being moved by someone else completely. Ben thought it was probably a control thing, and who was he to take away the control of a mentally and physically abused boy. 

“Hey hey hey, it’s okay, it’s just a movie” Ben smiles sympathetically at the boy, not knowing at all what to do in the moment. Ben and Joe knew this boy would be broken, but it was still hard to comprehend what to say in the moment when a child your trying to look after and give a better life is crying when you didn’t notice it. 

-^*^-

Dinner time was different than the last families Rami had had. In one family when Sami was still alive, the two twins were practically butlers for their foster parent, a man at the time. Having to bring the plates to the man who sat on the run down sofa in the small living room. They were taught to place the plate on the table and ‘get the fuck away’ from the man as quickly as possible. Rami once tripped, having stepped on a cigarette (Sami taught him the name and how to say it properly) and screaming in pain, dropping the plate and spilling the pasta all over the floor. Rami got two scars from that night, one from the cigarette and the other from the mans fists. 

But no, this family all sat at the table together, speaking and talking about what Gwil did at school or what Ben and Rami did at home all day. They didn’t mention Joe’s work, probably thought that he was too young to know what nurses do, but Rami knew. He hadn’t been to a hospital before, Sami being his personal doctor his whole life, until the incident.

“We had to write 5 paragraphs about our family today” Gwil said as Ben places the plates in front of all three of them, then doing his own plate last, which was really odd to Rami, the fact that he didn’t serve it himself and that Ben got his own plate last. They were expected to either starve or ‘get whatever the fuck you want from the kitchen, I don’t care’ when they were hungry. That was a quote from the always-got-men-at-home-and-groaning lady. But back to what Gwil was talking about “I put the first paragraph about before I was here, then the next two dedicated to you and Dad, and then the last two dedicated to you Rami” Gwil turned to Rami at the end of his sentence, only to be met with a shocked and somewhat scared face at the sudden attention. 

Rami knew he had to speak, but he didn’t want to. No, he didn’t want these peoples eyes on his small, ugly, scarred form. They were too nice to see someone - something - so ugly and broken. 

“Well that’s lovely, Gwilly, me and your dad are very proud” Joe smiled at Gwil, then at Rami in a different way. How could someone smile in different ways? Sami would know.. 

Rami nodded once, then ducking his head to look at his food. He grabbed a fork, a much smaller fork than the others’, and started to eat slowly, chewing one bite of pasta probably longer than he should’ve. Once he got onto his 3rd piece, Gwilym was half done, and Joe and Ben were done. He felt ashamed, too slow and stupid to even feed himself fast enough. Once he saw Gwilym was done, he pushed his plate away like he had seen Gwil do also. Both blonde and ginger looked at Rami, both frowning 

“Rami, are you not hungry?” Ben asked tentatively and softly, ducking his head slightly to catch Rami’s gaze. His head was ducked, but his big green eyes looked so guilty. He was in trouble, he knew that. He had wasted the food, he could tell by Bens face, he was angry, ready to lash out at any time, ready to pull off his belt and whack and hit and kick and punch him until Rami was a bloody mess because he knew he fucked up and deserved it. 

“‘m sorry” He mumbled, looking down completely and preparing, ready for a bottle to smash over his head or- 

“What?” All three of the others said, all sounding so shocked it was as if they had seen a ghost. Rami didn’t know what that saying meant, but he heard someone say it once outside the windows of another house. 

Oh no, oh no this was bad. He spoke, they didn’t like him speaking. He should’ve known. Sami would’ve known.. where was Sami? He wanted Sami now. He needed him. He always needed Sami. Where was Sami? Sami? SAMI?! 

“Rami breathe, your alright, calm down, it’s just me, your okay” A hand on his back, his quivering small scarred ugly roughly cut back. Rami whimpered, asking silently for the hand to go away, he didn’t know who’s hand that was, or who the person talking was, but they weren’t Sami. He needed Sami. 

“Rami, it’s me, Ben, you gotta breathe for me okay? In.. and out.. like me, can you copy me please?” Ben. He knew Ben. But not Sami- 

“I know you want your brother, I know, but you’ve got to breathe with me” He was talking out loud. He had never done that before. But speaking of breathing

Rami couldn’t breathe

-^*^- 

Rami could breathe now, tucking up under the covers of his temporary bed. It was so nice to be alone, in a bed he knew he wouldn’t be able to ever have again after the month was up. After that scandal in the kitchen, having to get Joe and Ben to help him breathe of all the things, and Gwilym having to rush out of his own kitchen because of some stupid little boy that was living in his house for a while. He want to apologise, but Joe had just encouraged Rami up the stairs and to his room, where Rami instantly ran to the bed and climbed up, then under the covers before they could say anything to him. He didn’t want them to speak to him at the time, but now he realises that was rude and mean to do. 

There was a knock on the door, and Rami didn’t bother pushing the covers off his head, the person just opening the door quietly and coming in slowly, sitting on the bed eventually. There was a little tap on Rami’s ankle from a top the covers, but Rami didn’t peek out like he would’ve if he didn’t remember what Sami used to say 

‘If you cant see them, they can’t see you’ 

But Rami was sure this didn’t add up to a T-Rex, but it was close enough. 

“It’s okay, y’know.. being scared. I was scared my first night y’know” Oh right, Gwilym was adopted, but that was different too foster care. Foster care was for unloved children, Gwilym looked very loved here and Rami really didn’t want to take that away from the ten year old. 

But even so, Rami pulled the covers down slightly, his curly hair popping up first then his eye, button nose, then small budgy lips. 

Scared. Sami wouldn’t be scared.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really did want to make this longer, but was so exited for you all to read this one that I just couldn’t wait any longer
> 
> Enjoy! Or don’t.. this ones sad

“A panic attack!” A yell from downstairs sounded throughout the house, the sound going through Rami’s tiny body. He had been curled up uncomfortably under his covers so tight he looked like how a little kitten sleeps when his eyes shot open as the yell went through the walls and bed covers straight too his ears. He sat up slowly after a while, still hearing the voice yell about other things. He knew not to shoot up too quick, knowing that someone could’ve been in the room with him. He pulled the cover off slowly, and nobody was there, only a sliver of slight from the slightly open doorway. Rami slid tummy first off the bed, his little feet landing on the soft carpet gently, and the boy took off to see what the voices were yelling about. 

Panic attack, what did that mean? It wasn’t something he had heard before, and Sami probably wouldn’t have known either. Speaking off the deceased twin, Sami was the one to normally go on ‘look out’ at night, Rami only having done it a handful of times when Sami was asleep and after... ‘what happened’, so Rami knew what to do: be quiet and slow, knowing which floorboard creaked, and stay hidden. He was a pro at staying hidden.

Rami made his struggling way down the steps, his little hand gripping the banister tightly as he stepped one by one downwards. He made it too the bottom and made extra care of being completely silent as he made his way closer. There were a lot of straits to the little boy, so he toke a few breaths in and out as quietly as he could and one he caught his breath from the evil straits he snuck towards the sounds coming from the dining room. 

It was Ben and Joe, Ben walking back and fourth across the dining room and Joe sitting where Gwilym had sat at dinner. A shudder went through Rami’s body as his mind went back to the meal, remember forgetting how to breathe and the others having too help him. He kicked Gwil out of his own dining room, his selfish of him, all because he couldn’t breathe, which was more selfish of him because Sami couldn’t breathe anymore and he was permanently gone whilst Rami was still alive after he couldn’t breathe, which wasn’t fair. 

“Ben, when Lucy showed us those.. awful papers, we knew the boy would be broken-“ Joe said but he wasn’t looking up, he had his hand up to his head which covered his eyes and his head downwards looking at the table. Ben turned around quickly towards the other Male and interrupted him 

“I know! I know Joe, but he’s four for fuck sakes! Four year olds shouldn’t be like that, they shouldn’t have panic attacks! They- HE SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN TREATED THE WAY HE HAS! It’s not fair Joe!” Ben raised his voice a lot loader than he had heard in a while, sure others could be loud but this was so much louder. Rami startled so much he fell backwards, making Joe and Ben look at him at the doorway. The boy gasped and tried to sit up quickly, but Ben and Joe were really fast somehow and were at his side immediately 

“Rami, darling are you okay?” A ghost of a hand was hovering over his back, like the person - Joe, Rami realised - wanted to help and hold him close but knew Rami wouldn’t like it, which Rami appreciated a lot more than a four year old probably should, in Bens opinion. 

“Oh darling we didn’t know you were awake, what were you doing awake?” Ben’s voice wasn’t loud anymore, it was soft and quiet and Rami somewhat liked it. It was like the voice Joe did when Lady-Lucy was at the door with Rami on the first day here, and then Rami remembered how he thought Joe was faking it, but Ben now wasn’t, and he didn’t think Joe had faked it then now. 

Rami nodded absentmindedly, standing up and stepping away from the two adults. His back was throbbing, probably opening up an old scar, but he wouldn’t say anything about it. His first time speaking hadn’t gone well and Rami wouldn’t be doing it until he was desperate to speak, which was never. 

“Rami.. your back it’s-“ Joe said gently, seeing the blood drip from the bottom of Rami’s pyjama shirt off onto the floor. Rami looked behind him slowly, then gasped slightly as he took notice of the floor. Maybe he was desperate to speak again

“I-I’m sorry-“ he started quietly but quickly, looking between Ben and Joe with big,begging and glassy green eyes. He had made another mistake, he shouldn’t have moved from his kitten tight ball. He could’ve prevented this. 

“I’ll call an ambulance” Ben said quickly and rushed off to the home phone to dial 999 

“Hey Rami, I really need to look at your back, darling” Joe said softly but his voice still screamed anxiety. Rami didn’t like it, so he ran. 

The four year old ran as fast as he could, running into the temporary bedroom and diving under the bed, curling in the corner. The perks of being tall. Apparently, Joe was fast also, running after the boy and calling to Ben about the boys antics. Joe followed Rami into the bedroom and watched as he quickly crawled under, he was probably faster at crawling than running, Joe thought, but my god can that boy run even with a blood dripping back. Joe shook the thought away, ducking onto all fours and spotting Rami under the bed 

“Rami, I really need you to come out from under there” he said quietly but not as softly as before, his voice having a bit more of an edge to it now with even more anxiety than before, he even sounded out of breath. Rami just curled into a tighter ball, Joe saw and sighed putting his hand out slowly “Please kiddo, we just want to help your back, it might be really hurt, and we don’t want that, do we?” 

Rami opened his mouth hesitantly and said “f-floor..” which explained a lot to Joe 

“Rami the blood on the floor can be cleaned, and it wasn’t you fault at all, I promise you. We will get it cleaned as soon as we check your back okay?” Joe felt sick, he couldn’t believe a four year old was practically apologising for bleeding. A normal- no, not normal, rami wasn’t weird or different- a healthy little boy that age would scream and throw a fit if they bled so much it dripped down too the floor, not hide in shame. Joe realised how Ben felt earlier that night. Speaking of the blond.. 

As Rami just started to slowly come out of his hiding place, Ben came in quietly speaking a soft “an ambulance is on its way” with a sympathetic smile to both Joe and Rami, who both looked up at him with different looks. Ben sat down onto the floor next to Joe, who were now both crossed legged 

“Could we please see your back now, Rami?” Ben asked softly, like he did before. Rami ever so slightly nodded, if you blinked you missed it, and turned around so slowly a snail could beat him at a race. He lifted his shirt completely off his back and what Joe and Ben saw made them both nearly grab the bin over in the corner and puke up their dinner. 

Scarred, if you just wanted one word. Scarred so much that Rami’s back looked like a very angry person had tried to play Norts and crosses over and over again on Rami’s slender back bones, tried to whip him like a disobedient horse on his lower back and tried to count how many nerves the little boy had in his spinal cord, if you wanted a full diagnosis. The cut that had opened was one of the ones on the top of his back, the right side to be exact, and it must’ve been deep because the scar itself didn’t look very large

They had seen the phones obviously, but this was worse in person. How a human- no monsters - could do such a thing to such a sweet and innocent little boy like Rami blew both Joe and Bens mind. How? How could you be so cruel to do such thing to your own kind. 

Then they saw the long, what Rami would call ugly, scar from his tummy to hip when Rami turned around with fat tears running down his face. 

Then the ambulance sounded. 

-^*^- 

Joe called Brian to look after Gwil in the morning, knowing the boy would be capable but knowing he was still too young to be left alone whilst his dads and foster brother were cooped up in the hospital. 

Brian had said yes so quickly after Joe had told Brian what happened with Rami and had barely got out the question before Brian agreed. Joe thanked Brian and hung up, going back into the hospital room with Ben and Rami, Rami laying in the bed and scrunching his little face up in pain as Ben said soft nothings to Rami whilst the nurse gave Rami the stitches. Ben was talking about ‘look there Rami, a monkey on the wall!’ then proceeded to make monkey noises to get a least a small smile or laugh out of the boy but with no hope, but both adults could tell it was helping Rami. Ben or Joe didn’t dare touch the boy, scared he would jerk away like Lucy had said he normally did when touched and mess out the stitches or something. 

“How’s he doing?” Joe asked and said next to Ben 

“He’s doing great, aren’t you kiddo?” Ben said and kept his eyes glued too Rami, who gave a little whimper as more tears fell, and Ben wiped them away as quickly as they fell. They needed to talk about what happened tonight, but they really couldn’t now. Talking could wait when you had your foster son whimpering so quietly in pain you had to strain to hear it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m cruel, I’m sorry, I know ://
> 
> Anything you want to see in the next chapter? Anything you don’t want to see or didn’t like in this? Please please tell me your thoughts in the comments, they always help :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if any of u still read this, I hope this chapter is better than the others :) 
> 
> Warnings for mentions of abuse and stabbing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still want me to continue this?

After the whole ‘back incident’, Rami made extra sure that he was careful where he went. Especially around the tiny blood stain engraved into the wooden floor just in front of the kitchen doorway. Every time he went to dinner he saw the mark, always keeping his head down, and it almost always made him gag. The one time he didn’t gag was when Gwilym had his friend round, not wanting to embarrass the older boy in fear of him beating him up like the other older kids did in the other homes. 

Gwilyms friends name was Allen, a boy with an accent that apparently had a little brother Rami’s age. He learnt that when Allen has first arrived, Joe having gone to pick the boys up from school earlier that day after his work shift.

The two boys had come running in, yelling excitedly as they threw their bags to the ground to dig through them and grab.. some sort of food with white flakes all over them and start eating them. Rami had been curled up in the corner of the sofa, like he always sat, Ben on the other side, also like normal, and had flinched so violently when they slammed the door that he was so close to sinking into the sofa crease and just disappear like he wanted to since living here (not moving in, because he would be gone soon enough to let the family be happy and back to normal). 

“Hey, what did I tell you about the loud noises?” Ben had practically growled as he stood up and went closer to Rami, not touching him though. Joe, who has gotten shut out of his own house when the boys slammed the door, opened it to see both Allen and Gwilym apologising and his husband trying to gently ease the newest family member out of his tightly wrapped up arms around his head in fear. 

“We’re sorry” Gwilym said quietly, glancing over at Rami with sadness, not for himself, more for the younger boys reaction. Gwilym was old enough to understand what Rami had gone through, and why he reacted in certain ways, but not old enough to realise all of his actions would have different consequences when it came to Rami. 

“Yeah.. sorry” Allen apologised, not fully understanding what happened but putting two and two together to come up with his own conclusion, even if he didn’t know the full truth himself. 

Rami had calmed down soon enough, going back to his normal less-tight bundle of tiny limbs in the corner of the sofa. Gwilym and Allen had sat on the sofa also, talking quietly amongst themselves about their rainbow, white-flaked food or whatever ten year olds talked about. 

When they had realised Rami was calmer now, Ben and Joe went into the kitchen to ‘make dinner’, but judging by the angry yelling noises he had heard, they were probably having another one of those talks that they had had on That night. 

Rami looked over at Gwilym and Allen, who were making sure to keep their voices down, which was.. nice. Rami listened in absently, testing his head on his knees as he looked at the two and listened. Allen was turned to Gwilym, who was sat in the middle of the two, so he was the one of caught Rami’s eye and give him a smile and a little wave. Rami didn’t like it. He knew Allen was trying to be nice but the boy didn’t do well with attention, having not really had any of it since Sami died.

He missed Sami, a lot, and he probably always would. He remembered the night he had passed, even if it was a rush of adrenaline for the younger boy, he still remembered it like yesterday. They were so, so close... 

“Hey Rami” Gwilym, who has obviously turned around judging by his piercing blue eyes staring back at Rami’s ‘dull’ green ones, also smiled kindly, turning his body towards the boy “How was your day?” 

Rami fiddled with the long sleeved jumper that was just a bit too big for him (When they went shopping it was almost impossible to find something that fit the boy, so they went with the smallest size in anything that Ben and Joe suggested, because Rami didn’t dare suggest anything) He fought the urge to put the sleeve in his mouth to chew on, knowing it wasn’t normal behaviour (See scar number five on Rami’s legs)

Rami shrugged, letting his gaze fall to his hands fiddling on his own. He couldn’t stop them if he tried. Allen, bless his heart, just started talking, like a monologue, behind a mouth full of the rainbow strips 

“-Y’know, my brother is your age, he’s four too” he said with a smile, actually pausing to catch a breath. He could talk a lot apparently, Gwilym nodding along like it was normal, and laughing when appropriate. 

Rami didn’t know if he liked Allen or not, but he guessed it was nice to learn about another person. The twins, when the other was alive, had learnt that the more you knew about a person the more you had against them.. or something like that. 

So, Rami guessed he had an advantage on Allen if he needed one (When would he need one?) 

>>

A bath. A bath? Joe had just asked him if he wanted to take a bath, and of course Rami knew what that meant, he just didn’t know what the question itself meant. If it meant ‘do you know how to bath on your own?’ Or ‘Do you want help with your bath’ Or ‘Get out of my house your dead to me’, because there was always a chance for that last one to pop up. Don’t get to comfortable, Sami said, don’t name things because you get attached, also. 

Rami just shrugged, because ever since his last time speaking, he refused to ever do it again within twenty ft of this family. He got the chills whenever he remembered the first dinner at the new house he was temporarily-staying-in-because-don’t-get-comfortable-Rami. 

Joe sighed and nodded, standing up properly from were he was slouched with his hands on his knees as to not startle the tiny little boy “Can you follow me up the stairs, Rami?” He looked awfully like he wanted to pick the boy up, which Rami wouldn’t appreciate at all, and was glad the ginger man refrained from it. Rami was sure he would never be okay with being held, Sami used to hold him when he got to scared at night from the thunder storms or the monsters under the bed to the monsters in the houses they were forced to live with. 

For once, Rami nodded, although Joe didn’t see as he was already walking over to the stairs slowly, Rami following behind him at a normal pace (Small legs and all..) 

Once they made it to the stairs and to the bathroom, Joe opened the door and turned the light on, going straight for the tub and starting to fill it up. Rami watched from the door way at what Joe was doing. 

What he was doing was picking up a bottle of something and turning around to Rami was one of those unreadable smiles “You ever had bubbles, Rami?” He beckoned the boy over with his hand, the smile turning kind when Rami willingly shuffled over to him. 

Sue him, the word bubbles sounded cool, even without knowing what they were. 

Rami, wet sleeve (from biting it earlier when he had hid in behind the sofa for a bit of alone time) close to his lips as he peeked over the bathtub on his tip toes. Joe so desperately wanted to lift him so he could see, but having the boy come willingly this close was a blessing itself and he really didn’t want to ruin the moment for the little boy. So, he dramatically dumped half of the bubble solution into the water, then swirling it gently to make sure it didn’t make too many loud noises (if he scared Rami away he would never forgive himself) and slower than normal the bubbles formed. 

When they started to actually make a difference, Rami had gasped quietly and shortly, a ghost of a smile on his little but pudgy lips. Joe felt ecstatic, so happy he had made the boy smile just the tiniest bit. 

“Cool right?” Joe said eagerly as he stopped the tap. Rami even nodded, keeping his big green eyes on the bubbly water as Joe stood and dried his hands on the towels hung up on the rack. When he looked down at Rami, and boy did he had to look right down, he realised two things. 

This was the first time Joe would see Rami’s full body, not just his back (God all of those scars.. he didn’t want to know he stories behind them) 

And that Rami would have to have help getting into the tub, not even being able to see over the edge without going on his tippy toes 

Holy fuck this kid was going to be mortified. They had seen the files, obviously, and had seen the photos in those files, but he knew this would be so much worse in person. This poor boy, two of his insecurities were going to be exposed, and Joe was going to have to be the one to expose them. This poor four year old.. what had they done to him. 

Joe didn’t realise he was tearing up until he felt a salty tear reach his lip. He quickly wiped his eyes and the one tear that had traveled its way down his face, sniffling and putting on a sad smile for the little boy in front of him. Joe kneeled down on the floor, just diagonal from Rami so he gave him enough space to not feel to closeted but not to far that he wouldn’t be able to catch him if he tried to run. He double checked the door was closed, before turning back to Rami and putting on a grin once again 

“Hey Rami, we gotta get your clothes off for the bath now” He said gently, watching as Rami tensed and his tiny hands on the baths edge gripped white. Oh god, he felt evil. He was evil. 

“I know you don’t want to, Rami, but then we can play in the bubbles together, that will be fun right?” He grinned sadly, reaching his hand towards the boy and stopping himself before he touched him. 

Rami shook his head, slowly looking back at Joe as he kept his hands gripped on the bath tubs edge, slowly lowering himself from his tippy toes and onto his tiny little feet that had socks on too big on them. 

“I know, I’m so sorry, but it’s gotta be done” None it was a lie, Joe was so very sorry for doing this to this little boy, but the bath did have to be done, especially with the absorbable sutures, the dissolvable version of Stitches, still in the boys back. 

Rami turned fully to him then, letting go of the tub and tearing up, a little pout of his lips as he sniffles and shook his head again, more violently this time 

“I know Rami I’m sorry-“ Joe went to apologise, again because the kid deserved it, when he was cut off by the little boy trying to run off. And just like that other night, when Rami escaped, he was good at it. Maybe to good at it for four year old. As if e had a lot of experience... not the time to be thinking about this! 

Rami almost made it to the closed door before Joe (Idiot, stupid Joe) wrapped his arm around the boys waist, bringing him closer to his chest and shushing him when he started to scream bloody murder. The boy kicked and hit and scratched at anything he could to get away, all the while screaming at the top of his lungs in fear and desperation. 

Joe started to rock the boy gently, patting the boys tiny, skin-and-bone, tummy with his free hand. He brought the kid to his lap when grabbing him, falling into a sitting position just before the boy made his almost-escape. 

The screaming wasn’t calming down. Rami kept screaming and screaming until the glass broke in every state in America and Joe let go of him. But he couldn’t. As much as he wanted to let go of the boy to skip the chances of him getting a headache and Rami getting throat ache, he couldn’t let go. If he let go Rami would run and the bath would be pointless. But on the other hand it was just a stupid bath- no. No Joe, it wasn’t a stupid bath, this is how you check his injured back, this is how you potentially bond with your foster son. Don’t give up on it now Joe, you’re got this Joe. 

As if by a miracle, Rami’s scream did die down very slowly, but it was progress. The boys throat kept getting caught in a hitch, then a groups of hitches all at once before being followed by less violent screaming. The pattern continued for a while, Joe still patting his tummy comfortably (He wasn’t that skinny in the photos.. surely not.. right?) and shushing him with gentle words as they sat on the bathroom floor together. 

Once he had calmed down and hadn’t been screaming for at least half an hour, Joe realised they should probably get the bath over and done with. 

“There bud, there you go.. ready for the bath now” He really hoped it wouldn’t through the tiny boy into another fit, so he kept patting his tummy and rocking their body’s gently. 

Rami sniffled, rubbed his eyes tiredly and gave a tiny nod. Joe smiled sadly once again (who was counting?), and gently lifted the boy off his lap and to his feet, helping him stand when he found it a bit difficult. He moved himself so he was kneeling again in front of Rami 

“Need help with your shirt and pants, Bud?” He said gently, keeping his voice very low with the boy. Rami just sniffled as apparently more tears fell, and god did Joe feel like an evil bastard. 

Rami silently lifted his arms up slowly, wiping at his eyes and nose a few times with them still up. Joe gently and carefully lifted the shirt, and as soon as he saw the first rib he gasped and let go of the shirt, looking away with a grimace. 

Rami watched him, and slowly put his arms down with a worried, pained face as he watched Joe’s face change once again. 

Joe turned back to him with a goody, yet sad smile “I’m okay, kiddo, Joey’s just being silly” He sniffled himself, then coughed like nothing happened “Can you put your arms up again, Rami?” He said softly, mentally willing himself for the sickening sight he was about to reveal. Get it together Joe! 

Rami out his arms up again slowly, keeping his eyes on Joe the whole time. When Joe leaned forward again and lifted the shirt, he fought back the urge to gag. He pulled it off the boy’s head quickly as to not scare him if he got claustrophobic, and soon enough each and every scar on Rami’s tummy to chest were bared. Joe stood in shock, not even realising Rami was wrapping his arms around his waist in self-conscience. 

Joe shook himself out of it, fighting back the urge to hurl at the scars everywhere- that was a knife wound, the one next it to was definitely glass, and oh my god that one was giant- 

Joe coughed, again, and grinned (grimaced) and looked up at the boy, who was staring at him with a burning gaze, wrapping his arms around himself in an almost uncomfortable way. He smiled so sadly down at him and shook away his own thoughts. This kid lived through the scars, Joe, you being sick by them is not going to help anything. 

“Ready to take your pants off now?” He true to keep it as friendly as possible, but Rami still shuddered and nodded slightly, taking them off at his own pace on his own and passing them to Joe once in his hand. That made that easier, but fuck were there more scars now. 

“Alright, we better get in the water before it gets to cold!” It was already cold, Rami’s ‘fit’ (that word didn’t sound right, it wasn’t a tantrum, it was full-blown fear) “Can I lift you up? I’ll be quick” Joe asked before putting his hands out. Rami stilled again, glancing over at the door for a while before he looked at Joe, all kind yet sad smiles and messed up ginger hair from earlier. Finally, Rami have the tiniest nod he barely saw. Joe grinned happily, going slow as he lifted the boy up from under his arms and... god he was to light. Way to light. 

He gently deposited the boy in the water, grinning at him sadly as he watched him look around the bubbles in amazement. At that moment Joe realised how young this kid was, after everything he had been through, this kid was just a little boy, a four year old. And as Rami gently lifted his hand towards the bubbles and watch it sink right through them with a little smile (progress) he realised this kid had seen to much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry, I know I’m really mean 
> 
> But there was a tiny bit of progress... right?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I kinda maybe sorta forgot about this one- 
> 
> Ik I’m so bad lmao
> 
> BUT here I am! So here! Have this shorter than normal, weird kinda chapter :) 
> 
> Better than nothin right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, warnings for past child abuse

“He needs clothes, Joe” Ben said as he watched Rami almost tumble over the sleeves of Gwilyms old hoodie. They had gone out in the back garden earlier, Rami accidentally falling straight into a pit of mud the second they were all looking away at something else, and Rami hadn’t had any other clothes. They had meant to go shopping a while back, but with Rami’s stitches having to clear up just slightly first, they couldn’t. They had, Joe having checked when he helped Rami out of the muddy clothes. Now, Rami and Gwilym were in the living room watching a tv show together, and Rami had just stood up to sneak off to the bathroom quietly when he literally stepped on the dangling sleeve. The thing was like a long dress on the boy, barely grazing the ground when he stood. 

“Your telling me” Joe scoffed sadly as he watched Rami practically disappear out of the living room as Joe took a sip of his coffee. They were both exhausted, the stress of having Rami there just getting too much for them. But they had done this once before and would power through it. They knew they could, just didn’t make any of this any easier “We could go out later today?” Joe suggested, setting the mug down as he drew a hand through his hair and huffed out tiredly. 

“After what happened earlier? We can’t put him through that” Ben shook his head, knowing Rami was still worked up from the events that took place earlier outside and knowing Rami wouldn’t take pleasure in being put into that sort of situation. 

“Yeah, your right” Joe huffed out, digging the palms of his hands into his eye sockets as he yawned out his other half of his sentence “Tomorrow then? Maybe?” 

“Yeah, tomorrow we can ask him” Ben nodded, taking a swig of his own coffee and smiling slightly as he watched Rami come back from the bathroom and sit back next to Gwilym, the older boy having not realised he was gone. That was progress, Rami wouldn’t even want to be near them for the first few days, now, a few weeks into Rami’s stay, he was choosing to be next to Gwilym and watch the show with him. Progress... hopefully. 

>>

“Where’s Rami?” Joe yelled as he slammed open the kitchen door, Gwilym and Ben working on the ten year olds math homework last minute together. 

“I thought you said he was with you?!” Ben, instantly panicking, stood up from his seat at the table, his chair screeching in displeasure at the movement as it was pushed. 

“He was but- I- I looked away for a second and-“ Joe stammered out, waving his hands around as if it would help tell his explanation better. 

“Joe! You know how he can get! Eyes on him, 24/7! You know that!” Ben, having no one else to blame his fears on, yelled at Joe, walking around the table and rushing past his ginger husband, frantically looking around the house as he called the toddlers name. 

“Of course I do! Do you think I don’t-“ Joe yelled back as he started to follow Ben’s movements down the hall too look around also for the small kid

“Dad!” Gwilym yelled from the kitchen, looking at the two as he pointed with his pencil towards the living room, making both Ben and Joe practically run down the hall, through the kitchen and into the living room, seeing- 

Rami was sat, curled up into the tiniest ball, right behind the sofa, chewing on his dirty, oversized sleeve, his chin going slightly wet as he kept chewing it, in his own little world where germs apparently didn’t exist. 

“Oh thank god” Ben let out a relieved breath he didn’t realise he was holding and laid a hand over his heart “Gwilym, I love you and your eyesight so much” He went over to give a kiss onto his oldests head, making him grin happily, although his face fell when he looked back at Rami, who looked like a deer in headlights 

“There you are” Joe, ever the lifesaver, smiled softly as he used a tone to match it, stepping closer slightly and slowly, showing no threat to the scared little boy sat on the ground, a sleeve still stuck behind his teeth gently “You gave us a right scare, y’know, we thought we lost you” 

Rami just blinked up at Joe as he pulled his sleeve away from his mouth, his eyes going slightly glassy as he shuffled his feet towards his body, the hoodie wrapping over his knees to protect him 

Joe’s own smile went sad as he kneeled down and put a hand out, Ben and Gwilym going to doing the homework again to give the two some privacy. 

Rami didn’t go for the hand, because they were there yet, but he did glance at it a few times like he wanted too, but didn’t dare take it. Joe only nodded slightly and sat down properly in a criss-cross fashion not too far yet not too close to Rami, who’s eyes were stills glassy as they tracked every single movement the ginger made 

“It’s okay Rami, I’m not going to hurt you, any of us are never going to hurt you” Had they told the kid this? Joe had been in so many situations with the boy that he was forgetting how he dealed with them each time “I promise you, we would never do that” 

Rami’s eyes said hopeful, but his whole body said distrust. But that was okay, Joe couldn’t force the boy to trust him, that would just make them take so many steps back from where they were now. Joe wasn’t risking it. 

Although, an idea came to mind. 

“Hey, do you want a bath?” Joe smiled gently as he asked, and Rami had just shrugged. 

>>

It was Allen’s birthday, and Gwilym and Rami had been invited to his birthday party. There weren’t a lot of kids there, only Allen, Gwilym, Rami, an eleven year old girl called Lucy, Allen’s neighbours Taron and Richard, two brothers, and Aaron. Aaron was Rami’s age, the little brother Allen was rambling on about when he came round after school and they had first met. He was a lot pudgier than Rami, and smiled a lot more, and actually played with the bigger kids, and was more than happy to leave his mommy’s side. He was the dream toddler everyone wanted, the perfect child, the angel child, everything Rami was not. 

Rami stayed glued to Ben’s side whilst Joe played tag with the kids, keeping them entertained whilst the good was being served. They were having a barbecue in Allen’s homes backyard, and the thing was huge, not to mention the house itself was massive, something Rami had only seen in the movies. Well, when I say glued I mean sat just next to Ben because he didn’t know if Ben wanted a broken child like him to be close to his side like that. Either way, he didn’t go play with the other kids. 

Gwilym and Allen seemed to be both tagged, somehow, as the others chased him, Joe having had to take a breath when he started to pant. How those kids kept going at it, the ginger man had no idea. Joe went to talk with Lucy’s parents about something whilst suddenly, Aaron was standing at Rami’s side, looking up at him in his place on the picnic bench. 

“D-do you want to play with me?” Aaron grinned all milk teeth like as he held out his arms for the smaller toddler, who just stared down fearfully at the boy his age. 

Did he want to play? With another person at that? The only person he had played games with was Sami, who always made them on Rami’s terms, and let Rami control the games they played. They couldn’t play real games together, they didn’t have any toys, so imaginary games it was 

“You don’t have too, just wanna’ta ask because your the same age ‘s me and all” Aaron, always the perfect child, only smiled and nodded, toddling over to the desperate patch of grass where his toy trucks and what not were placed. 

As much as Rami so desperately wanted too, he couldn’t, knowing he wouldnt play the same as Sami, one example would be Aaron not knowing exactly what he wanted even without words. Sami knew what he meant. Always.. until...

No, he couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t, play with Aaron.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiiiiiiiii
> 
> Warnings apply, as always, reference to child abuse, past child abuse, reference to drugs, reference to children being involved in drugs, if any of these trigger u please skip this chapter if u can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aLso 
> 
> We shot live aid on the first day 
> 
> No srsly lmao 
> 
> Sorry for any spelling mistakes, I finished most of this rlly late at night because I hate it here lmao

They went shopping the day before Allen’s birthday for clothes for Rami that actually fit. Ben and Joe were so excited as they helped Rami get buckled into the car seat in the back, Gwilym grinning at him happily as the car was started. Rami gave a tiny little smile back, then turned his head to look out the window for the whole ride whilst Joe and Ben gushed over the thought of how small Rami’s clothes were going to be. Apparently to adults, shopping for kids was the best thing ever, but Rami knew that it was all a lie.

When Sami was still around, and they were with a lady for a week, they had gone shopping for the Lady’s white powder in a sandwich bag. Sami didn’t let him hold the bag, slapping his hand gently away when the man down the dark alley had tried to hand it to him without a second glance as to why two 4 year olds were picking up the weird powder. Sami knew, Rami knew he knew what it was, and when he asked he was only ignored as Sami changed the subject to the giant puddle they were close to walking by, asking if Rami wanted to jump in it. He declined. 

They got to a big building soon enough, not some random back alley like the boy had expected. No, this was the exact opposite of the back alley with the scary looking people. This was a giant building, with people walking in and out of the big front doors. Some people had children, some of those children were crying, others were happily bouncing along next to their parents. Rami shrunk back into his car seat at the sight of all of the people. Oh god he hated this already, he wanted to go back to the house. Not home, because he was still waiting for Ben and Joe to put him back in the system and leave him there. Never to be seen again as they lived their happy, normal family life without a broken toddler that nobody wanted. 

‘Your not broken, Rami, neither of us are’ Sami had said once when he hugged the smaller close. That was the same night that- 

“Alright Ramster, lets get you out of here and get you some nice new clothes” Ben said with a smile as he opened the door, reaching over to unclip the boys buckles with ease and next to him, Gwilym got out on his own and helped Joe get out of the bags from the trunk. 

Rami whined slightly when he felt Ben’s hands try to wrap around his tiny waist to pick him up. He twisted his body to the side as he huffed out uneven breaths, shutting his eyes close tight as he faced away from the blond, hoping he understood and moved his hands away. He didn’t like being picked up, especially not from people he didn’t trust. Sami even knew not to pick him up all of the time, only did it when he had too, like when Rami had twisted his ankle out in the messy back-garden of one of their foster houses. 

“Oh, sorry buddy” Ben pulled his hands away “I forgot you didn’t like that, that’s my bad, I’m sorry” Ben’s tone sounded apologetic, and Rami didn’t really believe that he was lying or faking it, but he knew better than to trust so easy. 

“Can you get out on your own or do you need a hand?” Ben asked instead, putting his hand out gently for the little boy, who didn’t dare take it. Instead, Rami slipped out of the boosted seat, sliding down his stomach and sliding down once again to get out of the car, Ben just standing there with his hand out for no reason at all. Why did he look like that? 

Ben cleated his throat at that and turned to Joe, who just finished talking to Gwilym so Ben and Joe could have one of those talks again. The secret, whisper yelling kind. Did they do that a lot or was that new since he got here? Rami didn’t know, and he didn’t feel like asking Gwilym, so he just stayed confused. 

Gwilym, bored of the adult conversation happening, stood next to Rami with a soft smile “Do you know what you wanna wear? Dads are really excited to get you new clothes, like super excited” He giggled, but Rami didn’t see anything funny in it. 

Rami, upon realising he had been asking a question, just shrugged and looked down to fiddle with his long, still slightly damp sleeve. Rami had slept it in for the past two nights, and refused to take it off when he was asked to, just sucking on the to-long sleeves all day and night. It was comforting, in some way, to Rami, he likes the feeling of having something to do, something he controlled, not doing it for someone else because he was told too. It was like a game to him, something fun to do. 

Gwilyms smile didn’t fault when all Rami did was shrug, just going off rambling about birthday money and Lego’s. Whatever.. those were. 

“Alright! Who’s ready for some fun shopping!” Joe said in an over-the-tip voice, starling Rami so hard he took a step back in shock. Joe sent an apologetic smile his way, before getting interrupted by Gwilym yelling at him excitedly. 

“Okay, Gwil that’s great, bud, but we gotta get inside before it rains, alright?” Joe took Gwilyms hand into his own and they started to walk across the road, checking for any cars before going. 

“Alright bud, seen as they have ran off without us, it’s you and me for this one” Ben smiled, putting his hand out (again. What was with this man and holding hands? His hands were perfectly fine being covered by his long sleeves) for the little boy to take. Rami just looked at it and then back up Ben, blinking once before walking off, going to cross the street. 

“Wait, bud, we gotta hold hands for this, just for a moment” Ben said as Rami almost crossed the slow growing-busy cross walk between the parking lot and the big shop building, but was stopped when Ben called him back. 

“I know you don’t want to but-“ Ben put his hand out (again) for him to take and this time-

The feeling of a tiny hand in his own shocked the blond, the man having to double check that that was in-fact Rami’s hand. It was, the tiny little scars on the back of his hands, and the bigger ones, are ones only that boy could have. Each scar represented something, and Ben honestly didn’t want to know what meant what. 

“Oh. Okay, thank you Rami, it’s only for a second” Ben grinned, trying to keep in the tears because don’t cry in public Ben, c’mon, don’t do that to the poor kid. 

Rami just shrugged, the boys second favourite pass time, that and chewing on his sleeves, and they crossed the side walk quick before either of them got hurt or something. Ben was grinning down at Rami, who had his eyes locked on their hands intertwined together. 

Once they got to the doors, Joe and Gwilym too deep in conversation to see that Rami was literally holding Ben’s hand, and out of choice, in some way, and Ben let Rami let go first. But he didn’t. 

Rami didn’t even bother pulling his hand away, just looked at his smaller hand he wrapped up in Ben’s bigger one, not even being able to see his hand anymore from under the blonds.

Ben didn’t call him out on it, just smiled and gave his tiny hand a tiny squeeze, showing that hey, it’s okay. 

**

Rami watched as Joe flicked through copy’s of the same shirt over and over again, grumbling about the right sizes or something or other. Rami was still holding hands with Ben, Gwilym was off talking to Allen as he had send him earlier and his parents had said they would look after him for a bit whilst they could help get Rami some clothes, which is what they were now doing. 

“Okay, this is the smallest size in this shirt, so it should fit.. right?” Joe said to nobody in particular as he put the shirt up to Rami’s chest to check it out on him. Rami had flinched the first few times, but Ben’s comforting hand squeezes were nice and supporting, Joe he just kept an eye on Joes hands anytime he put the shirt up to him “Still a bit too big.. do you think we could tailored or something?” 

“Get a tailor for one shirt, no Joe, just get that one, it fits well enough” Ben said as he groaned. They had been doing this for almost an hour now, going through each size to get to the smallest, find out out it was still that much bigger on Rami, and deciding to either get it anyway or leave it. Rami now had five shirts, a few pairs of trousers that would definitely need to be cuffed up at the bottoms, and some new blue shoes, which Joe had teared up at as he looked at them, comparing them to the size of his palm a few times as Ben tried to get him going. 

They payed for the newest shirt, and sent off to find Gwilym and Allen’s family again, finding them in the same place, sitting by the little water area of the Mall. Rami had learnt it was a Mall when someone was making fun of how their friend had said it. 

“Hey bud!” Ben grinned as he waved his free hand at Gwilym, who waved back happily before going back to throwing coins into the water area with Allen, the two laughing as they did. Next to them were Allen’s parents, and on Allens’ moms lap was Aaron, who was babbling away as he played with the lady’s long brown locks falling down on her shoulders. 

“How was he?” Joe said with a smile as he set down the bags, Rami looking between all of the adults and the two older kids, tuning in on their conversation. 

“An angel, as alway, kept Allen out of trouble for a bit” Allen’s dad smiled, looking down at Rami with a soft smile “Hey buddy, have fun?” 

Rami just his being Ben’s legs, not letting go of his hand as he made his way to safety. Don’t trust strangers, even if the adults know them, Sami taught him that even before they had had that one bad encounter with their foster dads (he hated calling them that. They would never be parents, Rami knew it in his bones) girlfriend. She had liked them at first, but when the man had looked away, she had slammed Sami’s head down into the wall, kicking Rami in his tummy when he tried to help. She had had big shoes on, and both twins ended up with a mark at the end of the night. 

“Sorry he’s.. shy” Ben smiled sadly, not even trying to get Rami to come back from his hiding place to say hello. Rami knew he shouldn’t, but he liked Ben. 

**

Apparently adults could talk for hours, and normal toddlers didn’t like that, so Aaron had put up hid annoyance at being sat just in a lap for almost an hour straight by kicking and whining, and soon enough the boy was put down, and had gone rushing off to the two older kids. Rami was still standing by Bens legs, not behind them anymore as he had stepped out a few moments ago, just so he could entertain himself by watching Gwilym and Allen, and now Aaron over by the water. 

Allen wasn’t like the mean kids he and Sami had been in homes with, he actually picked Aaron up so he could sit with them by the water to put his hand in and play with the water, splashing it happily as he giggled and talked to the older two, who actually listened. 

Rami wanted to go over to play with them, he really did, but he couldn’t. He knew they wouldn’t be like Sami, and Sami was the only person he liked playing with. When Sami and Rami were in the house with the back garden with all the junk in it, the one Rami hurt his ankle at, they had been playing a game. They didn’t have a name for it, but Rami dubbed it planes in his head. They stuck their arms out, and ran around the small area, pretending to be planes. Sami, who just knew everything, was pretending to have ‘turbulence’ (“It’s basically where the plane shakes so much in the air! Like a pump in the road in the car but in the sky!”) and jumped over some pipe looking thing. Rami had gone to copy, but his leg didn’t go high enough and it got caught, his body still falling though, making his ankle twist with a crack. Rami had to hold back his screams of terror as Sami rushed to him. 

So no, Rami couldn’t play with them, because they weren’t Sami. Nobody was his Sami, nobody could replace his Sami. Sami was Sami, and Sami was gone. 

Rami sniffled, but held it together. He was a master at holding back crying until he was safe, he could do it in the old foster houses, he could do it here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SoooooOOOo
> 
> How would yall feel if I added in some super natural stuff? It would be tiny, and not like a whole mutant verse or something like that, just something that would be in the plot


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the softer chapters, not as much angst, hope u enjoy! :)

Later that night, when Rami was laying in the temporary bed, curled up into a tight ball with a hand on his neck for extra protection, he couldn’t sleep. Rami tried and tried, closed his eyes, counted sheep but he only knew up to the number 12 which didn’t help because there were so many sheep, he even tried to toss and turn with little noise possible. He just couldn’t sleep. 

Rank contemplated going to Ben and Joe, for some odd reason. His heart told him that it would be good to go to them, to go and get help, But Rami’s brain told him no, Sami’s voice filled with advice and all the knowledge he knew following through. So he didn’t. But he did think about it. 

He wondered if they would welcome him with open arms, he wondered if they would get mad, he even wondered if they would just stay asleep. The last one madd him smile that tiny bit, because it was kinda funny. He could hear their snores from his -temporary- room down the hall and wondered if they ever woke each other up with how loud the other was. 

Then, another idea came to his mind. Gwilym. The kid was nice, he had proved himself enough to grant that title, but he knew he really shouldn’t. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t...

Rami knocked gently on Gwilyms door, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders as his body trembled with anticipation. He contemplated turning around, going back to the room he was sleeping in, leaving. But the door opened, and Gwilym, with his bed hair and puffy eyes, was looking down at Rami as he games and gave a rub to his eye with his fist. 

“Rami? Are you ‘Kay?” His voice slurred into exhaustion, and Rami stepped a step back. He felt bad. He shouldn’t’v come. 

“I...” He mumbled, looking down at his feet covered in the new socks they had gotten later that day. Rami had put them on himself, refusing to allow Ben or Joe to help him, and he had ended up with his shirt on the wrong way, and one sock being less comfy than the other. But... “Can’t sleep” 

“Oh” 

“Oh?” Rami peaks duo at Gwilym, who was smiling slightly from what he could see in the dark. 

Oh yeah, it was almost pitch black, the light from the window down the hall allowing Rami to see that little bit much. It must’ve been late. 

“Yeah oh, I thought you were hurt or something,” Gwilym shrugged “Wanna come in?” He stepped slightly out of the way of the doorway, and Rami, who was apparently so tired from the lack of sleep, wasn’t thinking straight, and stepped inside, taking in what he could see of the room, which was barely anything. 

“My beds over here, it’s a bit different from your room” Gwilym smiled and made his way to the dark, corner of the room, climbing into his high bed and getting his comforters comfortable before turning back to Rami 

Rami made his way to the bed, climbing up with little of Gwilyms help, the only time Rami needing it was helping to lift his tired body up completely and onto the bed. Why his was so high he didn’t understand. 

“Here, I’ll move Mr. Broccoli, and you can take his place” Gwilym smiled and chucked Mr. Broccoli away to the side, allowing Rami to climb into the bed with Gwilym, who smiled and pat Rami’s shoulder gently before turning back around so Gwilyms back was facing Rami, who smiled slightly and ever so hesitantly pet Gwilyms back gently, before closing his eyes and falling asleep. Finally. 

—

Everyone was rushing around, Ben frantically yelling through the phone, Joe walking straight past him with bowls of chips and snacks, Gwilym was running behind both of them as he fumbled with the tie in knots wrapped around his neck. Rami, however, wasn’t dressed as neatly, still in his new pyjamas, holding a small tea towel that he had nabbed earlier that morning from the kitchen. 

They had been rushing to get ready for their visitors that they had forgotten that Rami was still not in the smart clothes he was supposed to be wearing. So, when Joe rushed past him, almost tripping over Rami’s tiny body, he noticed 

“Oh sh-shoot, Rami!” Joe gasped out, looking down at the little boy that stared straight back with his big, blue-green eyes. He looked overwhelmed with everything going on, and Joe didn’t blame him. Poor boy was so confused what was going on “Sorry, bud, we completely forgot you, didn’t we?” At Rami’s flinch, Joe knew he had said the wrong thing “Ah, uhm.. wanna go get changed?” Smart move Joe, changing the subject. Smart. 

They went upstairs, Joe picking out Rami’s outfit, and laid it out on the bed, letting Rami get himself Rami. He turned around, and 15 minutes later when he heard a small annoyed noise, did he glance back. What he saw, was adorable and sad at the same time. 

Rami was trying to fit his shirt on with the towel in his grip, struggling as it kept getting it the way. 

“Ram’s, you gotta let it go” He smiled softly, putting his hand out for Rami to give it to him “I’ll hold it for you, then you can have it back” 

Rami, with those pitiful eyes, looked up at him, blinked, then went back to trying to put the shirt on. Which, okay, Joe did snicker slightly. 

“C’mon, bud, just for a second” Joe tried again, keeping his voice soft and making no sudden movements less he scare the boy off completely. 

But, Rami wasn’t scared, and he just sighed softly and passed it to Joe, then putting his shirt on with much more ease. He put his hand out for a silent plea to have it back, and Joe gave the towel back to him. Rami went toddling off back downstairs, leaving Joe to stand in awe for a moment. 

Rami wasn’t scared of him. He was confident enough to not agree with Joe, because he didn’t want too. Maybe Joe was looking too much into it, but Joe couldn’t help but feel as if Rami was improving, maybe...

Then, there was a knock at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhangerrrrrr, sorry I’m so mean lmao 
> 
> Hope u enjoyed this chapter! Things are starting to get happier :))


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ITS HERE!!!! 
> 
> The cliffhanger has been... fallen? Revealed? What ever it’s called lmao- 
> 
> I’m so happy with this fanfic- 
> 
> I love my bbys sm :) 
> 
> As always, ⚠️ MENTIONS OF PAST CHILD ABUSE, REFERENCED CHILD HUMAN TRAFFICKING (Doesn’t happen, only referenced once/twice) PAST EXPERIENCES WITH BULLIES, REFERENCED SUBSTANCE ABUSE, ECT- ⚠️ 
> 
> Please heed tags with warning, although this chapter is somewhat lighter than the others. Things have been turning out better for our bby :,)

The sounds of Ben screaming and Gwilym yelling about the door, and the sounds of the two of them running down the hall and to their destination, was heard by both Rami and Joe all the way from upstairs. Those two were crazy, Joe dubbed it then and there. 

“The door!” Gwilym yelled with a laugh, the sounds of Ben laughing along with him made Joe’s heart flutter. Yep, crazies. 

Joe, upon remembering they had another addition to his group of crazies, made his way down the stairs. He found Rami standing to the side of the the last step, towel gripped tight in his hand, as he stood off to the side, out of the way of anyone that may want to go past him. 

Rami noticed he was coming down, and kept a keen eye on the ginger as he stepped down. 

Joe sat on the last step, tried to get himself at least a bit comfortable, and peered at the boy through the bars that held the handrail up. He smiled gently, and there was a quirk at the corners of Rami’s lip that went upwards for a second, before their moment was interrupted by Ben opening the door, and all hell broke loose. 

“Ben, my boy!” A blond, Ben’s brother from the look of their similar-yet-different face structure, yelled happily as he took his brother into one of the biggest bear hugs Rami had ever seen. Next to him, was a much taller, curly haired man, the same age as the blond and much stronger jaw and cheek bones. He smiled and ruffled Gwilyms hair happily, who grinned up at him in excitement. The ten year old rambled on about whatever it was he felt he needed to say, and The curly haired one looked content enough to listen, nodding along whenever needed be. 

They hadn’t noticed Rami yet, thankfully. 

They were all so loud, but when the blond entered and Joe -When did he get up?- starting talking to him and had taken to taking his coat to hang it up, Rami saw that there were three other people at the door. 

Two of them, at first glance, looked a bit similar, with their matching moustaches and height. They were the shortest of them all from what Rami could see, but that didn’t stop from from being any more happy and excitable as the other two. Between them, was a man who definitely had to be Joe’s brother, because they looked almost identical. They had the same, soft, shy smile, and their hair was almost the same colour, although Joe’s had more of a ginger tone, and the man at the doors was fluffy. Like, really fluffy. 

Alas, the not-getting-noticed plan failed completely when Roger glanced his way, their eyes catching. Joe’s eyes followed, and he must’ve seen how scared Rami looked because he did that soft smile he always did, the one Rami was starting to like. 

“Oh Rog, this is Rami” Joe smiled and put his hand out for Rami to take. He didn’t. He wasn’t an idiot. Joe withdrawals his hand. 

“Hi there Ram’s,” Roger smile gently, leaning forward slightly and keeping his hands to himself. No sudden movements, unless the boy got scared “Ben has said so much about you” 

The peaceful one-aided conversation was cut off with one of the men yelling excitedly “Where is he? Oh darling, move, I simply must see him!” 

Rami startled as he watched the smallest man cut his way through all of them, the two locking eyes when he had fought his battle to get through. 

The man was one of the ones sporting the moustaches, the shorter, skinnier one of the two. He had a striking jaw line, along with kind eyes that screamed a good soul to anyone who could sense them. Rami couldn’t. 

The little boy stepped back a few, his little feet tripping over the other in his haste to back up. Sami said not to get too close. Sami said- 

“Oh, hello there dear,” The man cooed gently, yet Rami felt no comfort in his words. He didn’t want this. He debated running, but he knew he couldn’t. He was frozen, stuck to the ground. Someone glued his shoes! “Aren’t you just precious” 

Rami didn’t notice the silence between everyone else, but upon further glance: everyone was watching them. Every single one of them. Ben was cringing and Joe looked like he wanted to butt in. Joe please. Please Joe. 

“Fred,” thank you so much Joe. Your a life saver “Lets give him some space, alright?” No, that wasn’t Joe. The man who looked exactly like Joe was talking, and Freddie, Joe-lookalike and the other moustache man made their way into the kitchen. Ben trailed behind them. 

Rami glanced between Joe and the others, including Gwilym. His shoes unglued from the floor boards, and he ran around the stairs and straight up them. He ran up, and down the hall, straight into his room. He slammed the door quick, the force knocking him down. The yells of the others calling him echoed to Rami’s ears and he gripped them tight Tibet the sounds to stop. With heaving breaths, once he got his bearing enough to get unglued again, he crawled into the closet, shutting the door without trapping his small fingers. People were still yelling, but it was muffled now, and he was gripping his ears right. 

Hide in here! They can’t catch us! They won’t get you! They can’t- 

The closet door rattled with a soft knock. 

Rami didn’t know why, but he had let Gwilym inside. Now, they were knee to knee, fancy shoes to fancy shoes, in front of each other in the closet. How they fit, he didn’t know. He didn’t know if Gwilym knew, didn’t want to get in trouble for asking, so stayed in confusion. They had talked for a bit, a very one sided conversation, and now they were in what should’ve been a comfortable silence. But Rami knew not to get comfortable with anyone but Sami. Even if he was- 

“What’s your favourite colour?” Gwilym asked as he fiddled with his fancy shoelaces. They had untied, and e had tied them again, only to untie them once more. Rami wondered if he intended to tie them up again. 

“Hm?” Rami didn’t glance up at Gwilym, his laces seemed very important at the moment. Ah, he was tying them up again. 

“Your favourite colour? I wanna know what it is! We don’t know a lot about each other, not really, so we should play a game!” Gwilym shrugged, and finished tying. He looked up at Rami with a small smile “I’ll ask you something, you answer, then you get to ask me a question, deal?” 

Rami nodded curtly, looking up at Gwilym. He knew what a deal was. He knew what an adult deal was too. A deal to give something away to get that white powder they all raved about. They once tried to give away Rami, which had been really scary, and the mean lady had held him up by the back of his shirt, his too-big shirt, that strangled him from that position, and the man said he ‘didn’t take kids’ so, the woman didn’t get her bag of powder. Rami had been thrown onto the floor, and he got a cut in his cheek. Sami had asked what had happened when he came back, and Rami just shrugged. How could he explain all of that to his brother? It was a very eventful day, and he had just wanted to nap. He did get to nap, under Sami’s protection of course. 

“Uhm..” Rami pretended to think about his answer. He knew what he was going to say, “I don’t know”, because he didn’t want to disappoint Gwilym. Gwilym was kinda cool, the coolest big boy he had met before. He wasn’t mean, and that made him cool. 

“What do you mean you don’t know? You have to, everyone has a favourite colour!” Gwilym grinned with a snort. He didn’t understand “Okay, now you ask me something” 

“Uhm..” Oh. Now what was he supposed to do? There was no easy way out of this way. No piggy-back way to copy the answer he knew would work the best for his case. What do you ask people? “What’s you’ favouri’e colou’?” R’s were hard to pronounce sometimes, which didn’t help because his name started with an R. Stupid, dumb Rami. Can’t even say his own name. Sami could say his name clearly. 

“Green, or maybe yellow, no green, this is a hard one” Gwilym thought intently “Green. Final answer” He grinned “Now, What’s.. hmm.. what’s your favourite animal! You gotta have one of them!” 

Favourite animal. Hmm. He actually thought this one out. Maybe if he did say an answer he would be safe? Gwilym wouldn’t hit him. If he wanted too, he would’ve already. Right? “An.. I don’t-“ 

“Don’t say you don’t know! I know you know!” Gwilym warmed with a grin, and Rami.. didn’t feel that bad feeling in his tummy whenever anyone else yelled at him. Huh. That was odd. 

Rami felt his lips give a slight grin, and his heart felt weird at the sudden burst of. What was this? Not sadness, or fear, it actually felt.. good? 

“Maybe... Dog?” He said quietly, and Gwilym beamed so bright he brought light to the whole closet. 

“Dogs! I love dogs so much! Do you know, that Allen and Aaron have a dog called Buster! His this big fluffy thing, bigger than you, and-and” Gwilym caught his breath from all of the yelling and his arms flailing about. Rami was somewhat worried he was going to whack his hand. That would hurt. But.. 

“Buster?” He asked intently, leaning in slightly to listen closer. He wanted to know about Buster. 

“Yeah, Buster! Did you meet him at the party?” Gwilym asked, then shrugged at his own question when Rami gave a slight shake to his head “Anyways, yeah, no, he’s so cool! He’s a.. I don’t know, I forgot the breed- oh! And dad had a dog growing up called Frankie, she was a beagle and-“ 

“A bagel?” 

Gwilym stared at the bit for a moment, before bursting out into laughter. And Rami- 

Rami giggled also. Ever so slightly. You had to strain to hear it, but it was there. He crumpled his shirt up into his hands gently and gave soft giggles. 

They laughed for a while together, Gwilym finding ‘Frankie the Bagel dog’ the most hilarious thing on the planet, and Rami just giggling along with him, until the sounds of the adults downstairs laughing together also. Probably not at bagel dogs. 

“We should probably go back down. Everyone has been worried about you..” Gwilym fiddled with his shirt also “Dads especially.. and uncle Freddie wants to say sorry” 

Rami looked between the crack of the two closet doors, looked back at Gwilym and contemplated. Go down, meet everyone, who may or may not be as mean as the people he had been in homes before, stay with Gwilym in his closet, laughing over bagel dogs and favourite things, or even Gwilym leaving to go stay with his real family. He didn’t want that, however selfish that may sound, he didn’t beat Gwilym to leave his side. He wanted Gwilym to stay in the closet with him. By his side. He sighed, and gave a small nod. 

Gwilym, who had probably done it ten times by now, beamed happily, and this time, did bring in the light as he pushed open the closet doors from the inside. 

They covered their eyes with their arms at the adjust of light. Maybe they would go down when they got used to the lights instead. It wouldn’t take long. Rami promised himself, that he would do this. He would face his fears, go down there with Gwilym, and meet everyone. 

When Rami was stepping down the steps at his own pace, Gwilym just ahead, checking over his shoulder every few times to keep an eye on Rami, the little boy realised: That was the most of had spoken in this house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aHHHHHH GWILYM AND RAMI BONDING TIME :3
> 
> I just- I love them ur honour :,)
> 
> These two are so cute to write together, like even in Play Dates I love writing their dynamic sm 
> 
> Also because they are literally Big and Smol :))))))))))) 
> 
> I hope u enjoyed this chapter!! PLEASE COMMENT your response, comments help more than people realise tbh- like comments can make people so excited and shit and UGH I just hope u enjoyed this as much as I did lmao maybe I’m biased I don’t rlly care lmao

**Author's Note:**

> Would you like me to continue this?


End file.
